What’s the small thing you’d like to talk about?
I was off work for an extended period of time undergoing medical treatment. As such it was pretty isolating and although I had my incredible family to support me - I was cut off from my day-to-day normal social activity. I wasn’t really conscious of this at the time - my brain space being completely taken up by medical information and health anxieties but in hindsight this was definitely an important element to life I was losing out on.
My mate from work started to send me a weekly WhatsApp message which included the rundown of everything that was happening - office gossip, news, any funny things that’d happened that week. They sent it religiously every Wednesday whilst I was away - with a strict rule that I did not need to reply.
This approach was one another ex-colleague of mine took too - sending weekly updates from their household - even what their dog had been up to that week.
How did it make you feel?
In the grand scheme of things it was 1 text per week but it helped to remind me that what I was going through wasn’t normal and it also reminded me who I was - in a context other than in a hospital. Plus it made me feel more connected to all my mates at work hearing the highlights of what they were up to! In a sea of “what do you need”, “how’s it going”, “what’s the latest news” - this approach stood out as being different with no-strings attached and no effort required. Bliss for someone whose head has temporarily turned to mush!
What might you want others to take from this?
Of course asking how someone is, what they need or how you might be able to help is important but what’s also important is you reminding your friend of what’s normal. A simple gesture like a text, a funny meme (do Gen Z’s still like memes?) or a little story can help them feel seen for who they are - not what they’re going through. My husband and I learned through this period of our lives, that if you’re ever in any doubt about whether you should say something or disturb someone whilst they’re dealing with something - always do. You never know, it might just make someone’s day a tiny bit easier.